Good start...

I would change your lead in sentence to the first paragraph. You are talking about a powerful direct response letter - here's what the lawyer reads: blah, blah, blah -

Translate your sentence into something that grabs them - a benefit of using your services:

Increase your client base and save $$ too! Proven advertising techniques work to bring in more clients, while reducing your advertising costs.

Then continue on with the benefits they will receive by using you. How can you help them get more clients, reduce costs, & track results?

Check your spelling too as you have some errors.

Good luck & keep pressing on!
Jeff